I don't know if you can tell, from the way I write and the things I've mentioned before in my blogposts, that I'm a romantic. Sorry, I'm not ashamed. I would be totally untrue to myself if I said I weren't. However, as the world progresses there seems to be less and less of us out there. So if you are a self proclaimed romantic, like yours truly, this, and other future posts relating, is for you!My previous post, "On a Lighter More Enjoyable Note..." focused on a movie I recommended that had its fair share of non-platonic love. It also dealt with a young woman who reluctantly married a man for whom she felt no attraction and a man who knew of it but insisted on marrying her anyway. The laws of attraction have always been a mystery to me - and I'm not referring to the ones stated in the popular self-help books that deals with positive and negative thinking. What is it that makes one person attracted to another? What is it that makes one person (for lack of a better term) 'romantically repulsive' to another? Let's explore this.
Physical Attraction
What a person looks like on the outside is believed to be the strongest reason as to why we gravitate to who we gravitate towards. What we first see is how a person looks and if it looks good to us, it is the trigger for us to seek to find out more about the person. If we use The Painted Veil movie as an example, Kitty was a very beautiful woman by the world's standards and Dr. Fane was taken with her from the very first time he saw her and onward. Although this is so, men seem to be more prone to this factor than women.
Example aside, from a personal view, think back to all the past relationships you've had. More often than not it started because you saw some physical trait of beauty, whether it be his muscular built, height, hair colour, the shape or length of her legs, eye colour, the length of her eye lashes, the smoothness of their skin or skin complexion, even something as simple as dimples in the cheeks. The list can go on and on. As Radwan states in his article "Physical looks are the doorway from which many people start".
Physical Proximity
By Physical Proximity I am referring to being around someone often. This factor is simple and I have found it to be true. For some people the more they see someone the more attracted they become to them. Once again think back to some of the relationships of your past or even your current relationship. Where did you meet the person? Was he or she a neighbour, a school friend or a classmate? Did you meet them at work while on the job, or at church - for those of you who frequently attend church services? Did you see this person on a regular basis? Then it could be one of the reasons why you fell for him or her.
Familiarity
Familiarity here can mean two things. Firstly, how much you know a person may result in how attractive they become. The more you get to know a person, what you learn can cause you to feel attracted to them and then grow to love them. This is why physical proximity and familiarity go hand in hand. The more you see the person, spend time with them, speak to them, learn about them, the more familiar you become, attraction can build over time. Secondly it can also mean if you have things in common with the person. If you share the same traits of character or like doing the same things it can lead to some feelings. Example, if you both like teaching or mentoring children or photography, especially if those activities result in you spending time together. You find that there is a lot more to talk to that person about. You understand them more fully than others. Go back to past and current relationships again (YES, AGAIN!) and give it some thought.
Attraction is the foundation on which love is formed and it is important in the scheme of things. If you agree or even disagree with anything stated here please feel free to leave a comment in the section below and look out for more on "The Ever Popular Non-Platonic Love" coming soon because this type of love is definitely something to enjoy!
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