Understanding Yourself and Others

In a previous blogpost entitled "Don't Scrutinize the Girl by the Cover" I addressed personality traits and how people can be frowned upon, scorned or isolated due to others misjudging, scrutinizing and not taking the time to understand them because their personality traits were dissimilar to their own. This topic is one that is very close to home for me since I myself have many times been misjudged due to my own personality. I'd like to continue the discussion on personality traits and how a small study of it can lead to an understanding of ourselves in a way that empowers even the most insecure among us.

In my own quest to understand myself, while doing some research on introverts and extroverts I discovered something called MBTI or the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator. You may or may not have heard of it before. The first time I heard about it I dismissed it as just another personality test which will tell me all the things about myself I already know. On conducting my own research, however, I discovered that this was very different from a mere test. It is a way to discover things about myself that I never knew. In fact anyone who takes the MBTI may discover things about themselves that can be life changing. According to psychology expert Kendra Cherry, the aim of MBTI

              ...is to allow respondents to further explore and understand their own personalities 

              including their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, possible career preferences, 

            and compatibility with other people. No one personality type is "best" or "better" than 

            any other one. It isn't a tool designed to look for dysfunction or abnormality. Instead, its    

            goal is simply to help you learn more about yourself.

The MBTI is a questionnaire made up of four different scales:

1. Extraversion (E) - Introversion (I)
2. Sensing (S) - Intuition (N)
3. Thinking (T) - Feeling (F)
4. Judging (J) - Perceiving (P)
        




1. The Truth About Extraversion and Introversion

Many already have their own preconceived  ideas about what they think makes someone an extrovert or an introvert. Some people may think that introverts are shy people who never socialize and live like hermits all their lives. While they think extraverts are the opposite - party animals who can't stand to be alone for any period of time. Of course I've given very exaggerated ideas of how these two terms may be perceived (although I don't think it's too far from what some people think). According to an article

written by Kendra Cherry mentioned above, "Introverts are "inward-turning" and tend to be thought-oriented, enjoy deep and meaningful social interactions, and feel recharged after spending time alone." (Cherry) In other words, introverts do enjoy social activity. In fact they down right look forward to it but they do need time by themselves to reboot, recharge, store energy for the next socializing session. If you are friends with an introvert, please keep this in mind the next time you invite them somewhere and they decline. Cherry also stated that "Extraverts are "outward-turning" and tend to be action-oriented, enjoy more frequent social interaction, and feel energized after spending time with other people." (Cherry) They need more social time. This is the major difference. After having researched the subject of Extraversion and Introversion from all angles I have come to see that everyone shows signs of both types to some measure but we all lean to one type more than the other.

2. Sensing Versus Intuition

This scale deals with how people gather information from the world around them. People who tend to be sensing are the realists of our world. They are the practical, solid, evidence seeking individuals who won't trust anything beyond what their senses are telling them. People who tend to use intuition are those who prefer to use their imagination to make sense of the world around them. They depend on patterns, impressions and abstract theories. As with Extroversion and Introversion, most individual use both but lean to one more than the other.

3. Thinking Versus Feeling

"This scale focuses on how people make decisions based on the information that they gathered from their sensing or intuition functions". (Cherry) The thinkers prefer to focus on facts and are detached and indifferent in their approach. Those who prefer feelings allow their  emotions to guide the decision making process. They are very empathetic and often deeply regard the feelings of others before making decisions.

4. Judging Versus Perceiving

This scale shows how people handle the outside world. "The judging-perceiving scale helps describe whether you extravert when you are taking in new information (sensing and intuiting) or when you are making decisions (thinking and feeling)." (Cherry) People who tend to be judging tend to be systematic in approach. They are definite in their decision making. Those who are perceiving tend to be more adjustable. They leave lots of room for options and change.

At the end of the test you get to tally the results to see which side of each scale you fall under. This will be represented by four letters. Eg:

ISTJ - Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging
INFP - Introvert, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving
ESTP - Extravert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving 
ENFJ - Extravert, Intuition, Feeling, Judging

Once you figure out which four letters represent your personality, you can then read a thorough breakdown of that personality type and the positive aspects it holds. Added bonuses take the form of a list of famous people with the same personality type and a list of careers in which that personality would be most useful and most successful. I must say it is incredibly liberating to find something like this. It is a powerful and beautiful feeling. It can also be a strange feeling because its like seeing yourself for the first time in a totally larger than life way. Your sense of purpose in life and your self-esteem goes through the roof.


The other good thing about this is if you do this together with other people, you get to see them in a new light as well. A new understanding takes hold. If you approach others based on your new understanding of them, you are more likely to develop a better relationship with them, whether this person is a relative, a work colleague, a spouse, etc. You can find out more about the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator by clicking here and let me know how it affects you in the comment section.While judging and scrutinizing can be annoying, understanding yourself and others is extremely satisfying and definitely something to enjoy. 


Source:

      Cherry, Kendra. "What Is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?." About Education. N.p., n.d. Web. 28

 Oct. 2014. <http://psychology.about.com/od/psychologicaltesting/a/myers-briggs-type-indicator.htm>.
  

More Enjoyable Movies!

As promised, I would like to recommend two more movies I think can be worth watching for both the entertainment aspect and the weight of their message. I usually enjoy movies that are deep and thought provoking, those that leave you feeling really good during and after having watched it. One such movie is "Tracks".

This is a movie about taking a journey that is travelled off the beaten path and one that is both the means and the end. A young Australian woman in her 20's, Robyn, astonishes her family and everyone around her when she tells them she wants to travel across the Australian desert all 1,700 miles. It is the true story of Robyn Davidson who later wrote a book on her experience. Many people caution her against taking the trip and her friends offer to take the trip with her but she refuses to listen to anyone and she tells her friends that this is a trip she wants to make alone. It all takes place in the 1970's era and is well documented since for financial purposes, Davidson gives National Geographic the rights to chronicle her journey. Her preparation for the journey is laborious and fraught with obstacles.  She encounters many perils and hardships on her journey that caused her to make the statement "I experienced that sinking feeling you get when you know you have conned yourself into doing something difficult and there's no going back."  Her encounter, however, with one of National Geographic's photographers, Rick Smolan, make for a very interesting twist. She is very much against his presence at first but soon through his persistence learns to adapt and then eventually warm up to him.

Although I don't agree with all Davidson's ideals and principles in the movie, I find myself admiring her courage and her determination. Her desire for solitude and privacy are also things that resonate with me to a large degree. Tracks was filmed and in 2013 and directed (not surprisingly) once again by John Curran of "The Painted Veil", and written by Marion Nelson. I love movies with great cinematography, those that offer the scenery as an important character in the film and this one definitely delivers that.

The film stars actors Mia Wasikowska as the daring Robyn Davidson and Adam Driver as her curious and facinated photographer, Rick Smolan. View the trailer below to see if this is a movie you can enjoy. You can also see reviews for the movie by clicking here and here.

My second movie is definitely one that both men and women will appreciate. "Defiance"is a movie
about a story set in the time of world war II. It can easily fall into the war movie category but it is so much more than this. It is the true story of Jewish brothers, Tuvia, Zus, and Asael Bielski who endeavor to survive a German invasion into their homeland - Russia. They do so by escaping into the Belarussian forests where they are under the constant risks and threats of starvation, exposure to the elements and being caught by the German army. The most amazing part of this movie is that they not only seek to preserve their own lives but the lives of many others when as time passes, more and more Russian Jews seeking shelter and protection, join their band of refugees. As their following grows, they build a small community in the forests and against all odds put up a huge fight for survival.

I liked this movie because the name "Defiance" so aptly describes what the movie is all about. This was a story of real Jews who would have been immediately and brutally exterminated if it weren't for the survival skills of the brothers and the collaborative spirit of the entire community. Whether they survive to the end of the movie is for you to find out but if you like the "against all odds" theme, then this is a movie you'll want to see. There is also some friction between the brothers and bits and pieces of romantic scenes for a bit of a twist to the general direction of the survival/defiance theme.

Daniel Craig as Tuvia Bielski in "Defiance"

The movie aired in 2008 and was directed by Edward Zwick and written by Clayton Frohman. It stars Daniel Craig as Tuvia, Liev Schreiber as Zus and Jamie Bell as Asael. A review of the movie can be seen by clicking here. Watch the trailer and let me know in the comments section whether you think both these movies are something to enjoy or not.

The Ever Popular Non-Platonic Love: Attraction

I don't know if you can tell, from the way I write and the things I've mentioned before in my blogposts, that I'm a romantic. Sorry, I'm not ashamed. I would be totally untrue to myself if I said I weren't. However, as the world progresses there seems to be less and less of us out there. So if you are a self proclaimed romantic, like yours truly, this, and other future posts relating, is for you!

My previous post, "On a Lighter More Enjoyable Note..." focused on a movie I recommended that had its fair share of non-platonic love. It also dealt with a young woman who reluctantly married a man for whom she felt no attraction and a man who knew of it but insisted on marrying her anyway. The laws of attraction have always been a mystery to me - and I'm not referring to the ones stated in the popular self-help books that deals with positive and negative thinking. What is it that makes one person attracted to another? What is it that makes one person (for lack of a better term) 'romantically repulsive' to another? Let's explore this.

In the online article "What Attracts People to Each Other" written by M.Farouk Radwan, he states that there are several factors that work to help us understand the mysteries of attraction. I will just make mention of three such factors -  Physical Attraction, Physical Proximity and Familiarity.

Physical Attraction

What a person looks like on the outside is believed to be the strongest reason as to why we gravitate to who we gravitate towards. What we first see is how a person looks and if it looks good to us, it is the trigger for us to seek to find out more about the person. If we use The Painted Veil movie as an example, Kitty was a very beautiful woman by the world's standards and Dr. Fane was taken with her from the very first time he saw her and onward. Although this is so, men seem to be more prone to this factor than women.

Example aside, from a personal view, think back to all the past relationships you've had. More often than not it started because you saw some physical trait of beauty, whether it be his muscular built, height, hair colour, the shape or length of her legs, eye colour, the length of her eye lashes, the smoothness of their skin or skin complexion, even something as simple as dimples in the cheeks. The list can go on and on. As Radwan states in his article "Physical looks are the doorway from which many people start". 

Physical Proximity 

By Physical Proximity I am referring to being around someone often. This factor is simple and I have found it to be true. For some people the more they see someone the more attracted they become to them. Once again think back to some of the relationships of your past or even your current relationship. Where did you meet the person? Was he or she a neighbour, a school friend or a classmate? Did you meet them at work while on the job, or at church - for those of you who frequently attend church services? Did you see this person on a regular basis? Then it could be one of the reasons why you fell for him or her.

Familiarity

Familiarity here can mean two things. Firstly, how much you know a person may result in how attractive they become. The more you get to know a person, what you learn can cause you to feel attracted to them and then grow to love them. This is why physical proximity and familiarity go hand in hand. The more you see the person, spend time with them, speak to them, learn about them, the more familiar you become, attraction can build over time. Secondly it can also mean if you have things in common with the person. If you share the same traits of character or like doing the same things it can lead to some feelings. Example, if you both like teaching or mentoring children or photography, especially if those activities result in you spending time together. You find that there is a lot more to talk to that person about. You understand them more fully than others. Go back to past and current relationships again (YES, AGAIN!) and give it some thought.

Attraction is the foundation on which love is formed and it is important in the scheme of things. If you agree or even disagree with anything stated here please feel free to leave a comment in the section below and look out for more on "The Ever Popular Non-Platonic Love" coming soon because this type of love is definitely something to enjoy!

On a Lighter More Enjoyable Note ...

For quite a few blogposts my topics have been sought of hard hitting. Like a hammer I seek to nail my convictions down. Topics like, The "Dear White People" movie discussion, "How Men Treat Women in Sweet TnT", (Trinidadian men I love you) "Interracial Relationships part 1"which is more heavy than hard hitting since it's a topic that tends to strike a painful nerve with some (as the topic of race usually does) and then there's my latest - "Don't Scrutinize the Girl by the Cover" where I strike quite a few punches in my passionate quest to save those out there who are drowning due to crass and indifferent mindsets. Please don't hold it against me.

In my attempts to make up for all the dished out blows, I'd like to let you know that my next few posts will be of a lighter, more enjoyable tone. MOVIES! YES MOVIES! Definitely a subject most can say they enjoy. In every other blogposts for the next two posts after this one I'll be addressing one or two movies per post, highlighting why I think it's a must see or at least a try-it-you-might-like-it-more-than-you-ever-expected-to type movie. Mind you the movies I am about to highlight may not be those you've ever heard of and you may even find yourself asking WTH??? But bare with me and take time to at least find out both the entertainment aspect and the message it offers.

So without further ado, this week
the movie I'd like to highlight and
recommend is - "The Painted

Veil".  If you like unpredictable, endearing dramas with a storyline that will haunt you for days on end, then "The Painted Veil" is the movie for you. If you've seen it already then you can agree with me that this movie is worth your time and gives you something to think about. It is as entertaining and bewitching as it is enlightening.  The name of the movie gives nothing away since the ambiguous title leaves one scratching their head and uttering, 'Huh! What does a painted veil have to do with anything?' So as not to bore you with details I will leave it up to you to do the research on the movie title (believe you me, you will want to know).

The film aired in movie theaters in the year 2006 and stars Edward Norton and Naomi Watts alongside a memorable cast of characters. Originally a novel of the same name written by W. Somerset Maugham, the movie screenplay was written by Ron Nyswaner and directed by John Curran. It is set in the 1920's era and begins with the story of Kitty, a rich, beautiful yet spoiled and selfish young woman who lives her life wildly and precariously without thought for her reputation as a lady yet to be married. When her parents have had enough they set the stage for her engagement to a well to do but rather dull bacteriologist and MD by the name of Walter Fane. Unhappy with the match but for her own selfish reasons Kitty reluctantly accepts his proposal of marriage. Walter's new job takes them away to Hong Kong shortly after they are married.

Naomi Watts in "The Painted Veil" as "Kitty"

There, Kitty's boredom coupled with her spoilt and selfish character puts her in a position she considers as her worst nightmare and soon she is heading off into one of China's most remote villages where there is a cholera outbreak. Walter is with her but already heartbroken and bitterly disappointed by what he has come to learn of her they head into this harsh and unknown territory as if they are strangers rather than a newlywed couple and together they learn hard lessons that will change them both, for life. Visually the movie is stunning with incredible scenes from China's untouched forrest lands. The soundtrack was also very fitting with its beautiful yet haunting theme.

If you still have your doubts after reading this and watching the trailer you can check out reviews here, here, here and here. I promise you, once you see it, you won't regret it! Click here to see the movie and let me know what you think in the comments below.

Don't Scrutinize the Girl by the Cover

Personality traits - everyone has them, however some are easier to understand than others. The fact that every single one of these personality traits contain flaws leads me to believe that no one is perfect and therefore no one should be judgmental toward anyone who may have a trait that may be difficult to understand. Although this is the case, low and behold, we have many judgmental scrutinizers everywhere. As you may have already guessed I'll be addressing something that annoys the hibby jibbies out of me - JUDGMENTAL SCRUTINIZERS!

I'll be talking more about personality traits and how they affect our human interactions in subsequent blog posts but for now let me know if you can relate to what I am saying in this poem.

Don't Scrutinize the Girl by the Cover

There once was a girl who was happy
Simplicity was her forte
She avoided the loud and the flashy
Quietly content, minded her own way

Rare but hidden were her talents
Fascinating those who took time to know
She perfected them with grace and balance
The years passed and watched her skills grow

But there were those who didn't understand
They strongly rejected her novelty
Her silence confused them
Her oddity bemused them
Her presence they objected to audibly

The years that passed were unkind
The brightness of her world became black
As judgmental eyes and scrutinizing lies
Relentlessly attacked and attacked

If only they took time to know
To learn before they judged
To carefully remove the cover
That misguided ways had fudged

The beauty beneath that cover
Its fascinating quality
Could have wowed and transformed them
Sadly they missed that opportunity


My attempts to express my feelings through poetry is driven by my hopes that people will get the message. There are people in this world who suffer isolation and rejection simply because of their personalities and most of these very people are talented and capable of making the world a better place to live through these very capabilities. The following is a quote from Tammy Cramblett from an article she wrote called "Famous People Who Went Unnoticed Until After their Death:

Vincent Van Gogh. This is truly a disheartening example of the frailty of the human psyche and what rejection can do to it. Vincent was a Dutch artist and very unstable man. He had no direction and no-one to care enough to try and give him some. What is really awful about his life story is that he shot himself, cut off his own ear and lived through both of these actions, only to die in a hospital two days after he shot himself. His sister-in-law gathered up all of his works that she could find and sold them. Now, he is considered one of the finest painters ever and his pieces sell for a lot money. Where was the praise and encouragement when he was living?


Taking it a step further, I recommend a blog post written by Celi Trepanier. Find the article here. It is an emotional and heartfelt article entitled "8 Things the World Must Understand about Gifted Children" and highlights the travesties that children endure simply because they are different. 

The next time you come across someone with a different personality, don't scorn them. You never know what amazing talents lie beneath their awkwardness. Be encouraging, be the one who chooses to be a light instead of drifting along with everyone else in their indifferent coldness or someone who judges without knowing. Please... don't be what I have coined a "judgmental scrutinizer". Be a positive reinforcer!

Interracial Relationships Part 1

My cousin and his fiance!

As mentioned in my post on "'Dear White People'- the movie", I'd like to continue my ongoing discussion on racial issues by taking this opportunity to touch on yet another
hard-to-swallow subject - Interracial relationships/romances. I say it's a hard to swallow subject because while some people like the idea of an IR and others are indifferent to it, there are those who are absolutely against it. The question I ask now is WHY? Why are they against it? The reasons can be varied. But can these reasons be taken seriously? After all, everyone is entitled to their opinion...right?

In my view Interracial love is a beautiful thing. It is one of the few things that helps to alleviate tension between the races. One might disagree that it can do this because when two people of different races come together in a non platonic way, their families and friends sometimes have strong objections and even strangers on the street tend to add to the discomfort with disapproving looks and remarks. If people weren't so hung up on their own insecurities and if they weren't so afraid of the little differences between us all, the people of the human race, they would see that IR's help to banish the prejudices that may arise due to skin colour and allow people to love each other in spite of their differences.

Here are some global reasons I've heard being given for objecting Interracial Relationships:

• When you date or marry outside your race you are practicing hate against your own race.
• IR's destroy the black family/white family/hispanic family, etc.
• The few black men who are educated and have good jobs get stolen by white women.
• Black women only go with white men and vice versa so that their children can have lighter complexion and better textured hair (good hair).
• Men of other races marry white women so they can hold them up as trophy wives.
• An actual quote - "According to the laws of the bible no race mixing. It doesn't mean you hate other races, just don't marry into them."

Ok, for the record I object to every one of those reasons. That last one actually left me a little more than annoyed. It made me really angry because I've read the bible cover to cover and I have never seen anything that indicated that one race shouldn't marry another. Regardless of what your beliefs are you cannot deny that we all belong to the human race. When I look at a person who is the product of an interracial union I see exotic beauty impossible to deny.

Recently I found videos of the popular series "What Would You Do" from the abc network that tackles racial issues all the time, among other things. These videos, however dealt the specific issue of IR's. Watch the videos and let me know how they affect you in the comments section.

At the end of the day LOVE is the ultimate reason why people get married, whether those relationships are interracial or not. Sometimes a person isn't dating outside their race because of preference or because they want good hair for their kids. Most times it isn't even deliberate. People fall in love unexpectedly, life happens that way. Who you choose to marry should be your business, not your parents, not your friends, not your neighbours and certainly not the stranger on the street. So I ask the question why do people date and marry outside their race? It doesn't matter because at the end of it all, it's their life not yours. Let's all agree to let love have the last say.

Art: Portraits and Why I Love Them!

When I think of Art, I think of something exciting! Something that gets the blood pumping through the veins. There's nothing like it, whether it be paintings, drawing/sketches, sculptures, graphic design, illustration, fine arts, etc. The list can go on and on. Artists and art lovers any where in the world can relate to what I'm trying to describe. It is a way to express your most deepest feelings and thoughts. A person can stand in front of a Mark Rothko painting or an ancient grecian sculpture and see something that inspires them or fills them with wonder - something they can connect with and cherish as their own. It can be beautiful, haunting, disturbing, satisfying or meaningful and can solicit all manner of human emotions and reactions. Yes, that's ART!

This is my first art post in the blog "Things That Annoy and Things to Enjoy" and I am so pumped. I am especially excited because the first of my art posts for this blog will feature my own work. I know it sounds a bit selfish but bare with me. In future art topics I intend to feature other student artists like myself and also the artists who inspire me. This is definitely a thing to enjoy!

Let me first give a little back story. I am currently studying Graphic Design at COSTAATT - College of Science, Technology and Applied Arts in Trinidad and Tobago. I completed an Art and Design course at Thames Valley University in Reading, England.

This was my first painting of a self portrait. As you can see the likeness is a bit off and its more abstract than realistic but I am was happy that I could paint a portrait that could be seen as "recognizable" to others. The bird is on my shoulder because we (my classmates and I) were given an assignment to paint a portrait of ourselves that would show reveal something about us. The bird is a Scarlet Ibis - one of the national birds of Trinidad and Tobago. It was my way of saying that I am a proud Trini!

Above are two other self portraits that didn't do too well in the likeness department. The one on the left was done in chalk pastels and the one on the right is my first and only oil painting.

These are drawings I did only after I knew what it was like to paint a portrait. Working with paints helped improve my drawing skills as far as portraits were concerned. The one on the left is an illustration of what I thought one of the characters from Maya Angelou's book "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" - 'Mr. McElroy' looked like. The one on the right is a self portrait but when I look at it I only see my sister - Simone.

These are portraits of other people which were challenging but fun. I really enjoyed these. In the one on the left, I struggled with the hair a bit and the one on the right of the little boy, it took a while for me to get the teeth right.

Can anyone guess which celebrity can claim ownership of this portrait? If you guess Halle Berry you are correct. This was my first celebrity portrait. I was still struggling with likeness and proportions

at this point but it didn't stop me from enjoying the process.

Finally we have my first attempts at portraits using the amazing adobe photoshop software. I love using photoshop for portraits because even without too much detail you can achieve an exact likeness.

Although portraits are a highly enjoyable art subject I do paint and draw other things as well. My favourite thing by far to depict are animals and insects. I recently featured in an art exhibition entitled "Vintage Caribbean"where three other artists were also featured. You can click here to read the article written in the online Trinidad Guardian about the entire event.

Let me know what you think in the comments below and look out for more art posts coming soon. 

The Way Women are Treated by Men in Sweet TnT

As a young woman born and raised on the twin Island of Trinidad and Tobago, I must say that I love my country. I am a patriot to the bone. In the words of calypsonian David Rudder, "Sweet, sweet Tnt, oh how ah love up meh country!"To me it is the best place in the world to live. Having said this, there are a few things that annoy me about Trinidad. I will only address one at this time and that is the way women are treated by men in Trinidad.

Please don't get me wrong. I love Trinidadian men! In fact I have more male friends here than female friends and for me good friends are extremely hard to find so it's saying a lot. Let me further clarify that the situations I am about to address are not pointing to all Trinidadian men. There are many respectable,
humble and great men whom I look up to
and admire. Now that I've made that
abundantly clear, let me get into what annoys me:

1. The demand that you must greet them when you pass them on the street.

          It is the worst thing for me to be walking down the street with my thoughts on the activities of my 

          day and pass a man only to hear 'Goodmorning' said to me in a very demanding tone.

          First off, it should be my choice whether I wish to say 'goodmorning' to you. If I choose not to

          say it, this shouldn't be taken as an offence. Even if you do take offence keep it to yourself. Don't  

          demand that I say it even when I am well on my way. Case in point, I was on my way to class

          one afternoon and I observed a couple passing a middle-aged man sitting on the ledge of a wall.
          They walked by him without even so much as a glance. He said nothing. When it was my turn

          however, the moment I passed him I heard a very loud and fierce tone of voice directed at me

          telling me good evening. I rolled by eyes and kept walking. It was a tone of voice that said to me, 

          "How dare you pass me without saying anything. You must acknowledge my presence!"

Again, please understand, I am a mannerly person. I greet people when I see the appropriateness of the circumstance. For instance, I walk into an establishment like a community clinic, I greet my fellow patients. I approach the teller of a bank and I greet him/her with goodmorning. A child in school uniform passes me on the street and respectfully says "Good day", I respond. I shouldn't be subjected to saying goodmorning when it isn't called for just because you demand it of me! Cah-PEESH? If it had been a male pedestrian passing him, would he be so forthright to make sure he was greeted by him? If this only happened to me once or twice I wouldn't mention it but it happens to me all the time.

     2. They demand your attention even when you are quite some distance away.

         This one is a little less aggressive but annoying all the same. Once again you may as a woman be
         walking on your way to work or to an important appointment or engagement when you may hear
         a voice calling out to you, "DARLIN'... DARLIN!" The urgency of the call compels you
         reluctantly to look. When you do, you see a male stranger nodding his head your way, "GOOD
         MORNING!" he yells across two lanes of traffic across a wide, noisy road. Do I know this
         person? You ask yourself confused. Nope! With a steups you continue on your way unnerved at
         the 8 seconds you wasted wondering if you knew him. It is most annoying especially when you
         foresee the unpleasant scene of walking through a group of men gathered on a street corner for
         whatever reason. You cross the street to avoid them only to have them call out to you from the
         other side of the street, "Good morning!"

My dear brothers, my countrymen, you are not doing yourselves any favours when you act this way. This behaviour is NOT mannerly. In fact it is the opposite. Imagine I am a man walking past you. Will you demand that he tells you 'Good morning'? No you won't. Then don't demand it of me. It shines a bad light on you and on other men who are more respectful of women and of themselves. If a woman says nothing to you when she makes her way through the streets of TnT let it go. You don't have to succumb to desperate acts to secure the attention of every woman who catches your eye. Apart from bringing a bad reputation upon yourself, you are also walking into sexual harassment territory. Speaking of sexual harassment, this brings me to my 3rd and final point of how men treat women in Trinidad and Tobago.


      3. Cat calls can become abusive...literally.

          Sooting, cat calling and lame pic up lines has become the norm within Trini culture.
          We have become so used to it as women that we have ceased to see it for what it really is - sexual
          harassment. Sooting - that loud hissing sound that men use to get a woman's attention. When
          she looks, it is considered some kind of conquest. Most times the sooting is followed by words
          describing what the woman looks like in most explicit terms. "The Adventures of Alias" - a
          youtuber - does an excellent job of explaining what these pick up line may sound like in the
          video below:

        Now that we've been thoroughly entertained by Mr. Alias, let's return to the matter on a serious
        note. I have been the victim of this scenario too many times. I will give you the most harrowing
        experience of them all and let you judge for yourself. I was on my way to church one Wednesday
        evening when I heard someone shout out "RAS... GOOD AFTERNOON RAS". I was the only
        person on that street at that particular time so I was sure that he was referring to me and yet I
        refused to turn around. I could hear the rumble of the car engine as the man slowed his vehicle
        to a stop allowing it to idle in the street as he awaited my response. I kept on walking without the
        slightest hint of acknowledgement. He called out to me again with the same "AFTERNOON
        RAS!" I Kept my head straight and kept on walking. 'That isn't my name' I mumbled softly to
        myself. He kept on calling and I kept on walking. Finally in a fit of rage I heard him utter an
        expletive, "F***ING RASTA" before zooming off wildly in his vehicle.

This was totally unbelievable to me. If I had not experienced it I would not have believed that someone would go through such lengths to get attention. I don't say these things to put our countrymen in a bad light but rather to bring awareness for their benefit. Women of TnT, is it just me or is this also your experience as a woman living in Trinidad and Tobago? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.