Anyone who has been away from home for long periods of time would know how difficult it can be, especially if you have really strong relational ties - friends, family, spouses, significant others, etc. I love, love, love New York. It's such a cultural and diverse part of the United States. I had the pleasure of spending some time in upstate NY in a city within the Dutchess County area called Poughkeepsie. Some think that because its upstate that there's nothing to attract tourists there but I can tell anyone, you can really enjoy yourself there. There is so much to do and see. Returning to my opening statement, as lovely as it was spending time with my family and friends and travelling, seeing and experiencing all that it had to offer, I must admit I began to feel a little home sick.
As much as I love traveling and as exciting as it is to roam, I can never stray too far from home. I love my country of Trinidad and Tobago to that extent. So when talking about things to enjoy versus things that annoy, I would say traveling and visiting new places - definitely something to enjoy. Missing home - definitely something that annoys. Poughkeepsie - definitely something to enjoy. Returning home after some time away - I don't think the enjoyment scale can measure it! (ha, ha)
Here are some places in and around Poughkeepsie that I enjoyed and simply have to share:
Scenic Places:
The Walkway Over the Hudson
The Vanderbilt Mansion
Mills Mansion
River where we had family day
Shopping Areas
Poughkeepsie Galleria
Berlington
Sam's Club
Sephora
Kmart
Marshalls
Walmart
Eating Out
Brunch at Hyatt Hotel
The Culinary Institute of America
The Palace Diner
Thai Spice
Uno's Pizzeria and Grill
The Palace Diner
Vanderbilt Mansion in all its glory!
Between its iconic pillars
Picturesque shot of Vanderbilt Mansion
Posing with Justin Timberlake at Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum
Coming back Home
Although Poughkeepsie is a wonderful vacation spot and a place I thoroughly enjoyed, I started feeling like I'd been away from home for too long. I'm not the type of person to keep in touch with others while I'm out of town so I really began missing friends and family back home. I began to miss those old familiar places, the group of children I teach at my home church, in and around Port-of-Spain, shopping on Charlotte street, meeting friends on the "Lara" (The Brian Lara Promenade) things of that sort.
First thing I did when I got home was to call a few friends and catch up. I almost cried real tears when I saw how grown, how tall, how changed the children I taught had become in my absence. It just felt so good to be back. Even the house I lived in seemed to say welcome back. So glad to be so in love with the country of my birth. It's always good to have somewhere, some special place that you can call home.
Yes folks! This has been a long time in coming but it's finally here. The second part of my exploration of interracial relationships focuses on interracial relationships right here in Trinidad and Tobago. This time around, zooming in on this issue in my own country gave me opportunity to collaborate with a fellow blogger by the name of Anietha Charles. She is an amazing storyteller and hugely talented illustrator. I'll talk a little more on Anietha Charles and the collaboration in a bit. Such excitement!!!
I decided to explore IR's in Trinidad and Tobago because while doing research for part 1, I realized that there is very little said about it here. The most I could find were a few articles (about three) and they were from students like myself. There was probably one newspaper columnist who dealt with it as well. Videos were also scarce. I found one youtube video and it was from a UWI student. I couldn't say anything about how Trinbagonians feel about IR and so I chose to research the information by conducting interviews with the people of Trinidad and Tobago and recording it, thereby raising more awareness on the subject. This led to the video below, which can be seen as a general snapshot of how people in this country feel about IR's.
Over 30 people were interviewed in the course of one day and while the responses were varied, the prevailing attitudes were very similar. My camera guy, Zamfir Khan (a really cool guy. Please check out his blog) and I traversed COSTAATT university (College of Science, Technology and Applied Arts of Trinidad and Tobago) and also the streets of down town POS to conduct the interviews and found many compliant folks who gladly gave their opinions. I really enjoyed the process. I learned a lot and that day. After a hard day of canvasing the streets and conducting interviews I can say I am truly proud to be a Trinidadian.
There were, of course some sad discoveries. One of the students from the college mentioned that she had a friend who was a girl of East Indian decent who was romantically involved with a boy of African decent and that the parents of the girl were "kicking against it", as stated in the words of the student. I won't pretend to be totally naive. I am aware of the racial tension between the people of East Indian decent and the people of African decent in this country but what I found to be interesting is that this mindset is primarily with the older generation. The young people of both races aren't thinking like their parents and grandparents. The younger generation have no hangups, no divisions and no reasons to be divided. They opt for unity and togetherness and that is very promising for us as a nation. So overall I must say that compared with other nations like the US and the UK, we are doing pretty good on the racial front, particularly where interracial relationships are concerned.
Collaboration with Anietha Charles
Anietha - a graphic design student - is such a talented individual. When I discovered her storytelling capabilities in addition to her artistic abilities, I was blown away. During my interviews I allowed the interviewees to tell stories about how IR couples they knew, met each other. I asked Anietha if she could illustrate these stories so that I could add them to the video. She did a fantastic job and I was so glad for the opportunity to work with her in such a way. As mentioned above she also writes a blog which is entitled "ABC Storytelling". Check it out here and look out for other fun collaborations coming soon.
As a young woman born and raised on the twin Island of Trinidad and Tobago, I must say that I love my country. I am a patriot to the bone. In the words of calypsonian David Rudder, "Sweet, sweet Tnt, oh how ah love up meh country!"To me it is the best place in the world to live. Having said this, there are a few things that annoy me about Trinidad. I will only address one at this time and that is the way women are treated by men in Trinidad.
Please don't get me wrong. I love Trinidadian men! In fact I have more male friends here than female friends and for me good friends are extremely hard to find so it's saying a lot. Let me further clarify that the situations I am about to address are not pointing to all Trinidadian men. There are many respectable,
humble and great men whom I look up to
and admire. Now that I've made that
abundantly clear, let me get into what annoys me:
The demand that you must greet them when you pass them on the street.
It is the worst thing for me to be walking down the street with my thoughts on the activities of my
day and pass a man only to hear 'Goodmorning' said to me in a very demanding tone.
First off, it should be my choice whether I wish to say 'goodmorning' to you. If I choose not to
say it, this shouldn't be taken as an offence. Even if you do take offence keep it to yourself. Don't
demand that I say it even when I am well on my way. Case in point, I was on my way to class
one afternoon and I observed a couple passing a middle-aged man sitting on the ledge of a wall.
They walked by him without even so much as a glance. He said nothing. When it was my turn
however, the moment I passed him I heard a very loud and fierce tone of voice directed at me
telling me good evening. I rolled by eyes and kept walking. It was a tone of voice that said to me,
"How dare you pass me without saying anything. You must acknowledge my presence!"
Again, please understand, I am a mannerly person. I greet people when I see the appropriateness of the circumstance. For instance, I walk into an establishment like a community clinic, I greet my fellow patients. I approach the teller of a bank and I greet him/her with goodmorning. A child in school uniform passes me on the street and respectfully says "Good day", I respond. I shouldn't be subjected to saying goodmorning when it isn't called for just because you demand it of me! Cah-PEESH? If it had been a male pedestrian passing him, would he be so forthright to make sure he was greeted by him? If this only happened to me once or twice I wouldn't mention it but it happens to me all the time.
2. They demand your attention even when you are quite some distance away.
This one is a little less aggressive but annoying all the same. Once again you may as a woman be
walking on your way to work or to an important appointment or engagement when you may hear
a voice calling out to you, "DARLIN'... DARLIN!" The urgency of the call compels you
reluctantly to look. When you do, you see a male stranger nodding his head your way, "GOOD
MORNING!" he yells across two lanes of traffic across a wide, noisy road. Do I know this
person? You ask yourself confused. Nope! With a steups you continue on your way unnerved at
the 8 seconds you wasted wondering if you knew him. It is most annoying especially when you
foresee the unpleasant scene of walking through a group of men gathered on a street corner for
whatever reason. You cross the street to avoid them only to have them call out to you from the
other side of the street, "Good morning!"
My dear brothers, my countrymen, you are not doing yourselves any favours when you act this way. This behaviour is NOT mannerly. In fact it is the opposite. Imagine I am a man walking past you. Will you demand that he tells you 'Good morning'? No you won't. Then don't demand it of me. It shines a bad light on you and on other men who are more respectful of women and of themselves. If a woman says nothing to you when she makes her way through the streets of TnT let it go. You don't have to succumb to desperate acts to secure the attention of every woman who catches your eye. Apart from bringing a bad reputation upon yourself, you are also walking into sexual harassment territory. Speaking of sexual harassment, this brings me to my 3rd and final point of how men treat women in Trinidad and Tobago.
3. Cat calls can become abusive...literally. Sooting, cat calling and lame pic up lines has become the norm within Trini culture.
We have become so used to it as women that we have ceased to see it for what it really is - sexual
harassment. Sooting - that loud hissing sound that men use to get a woman's attention. When
she looks, it is considered some kind of conquest. Most times the sooting is followed by words
describing what the woman looks like in most explicit terms. "The Adventures of Alias" - a
youtuber - does an excellent job of explaining what these pick up line may sound like in the
video below:
Now that we've been thoroughly entertained by Mr. Alias, let's return to the matter on a serious
note. I have been the victim of this scenario too many times. I will give you the most harrowing
experience of them all and let you judge for yourself. I was on my way to church one Wednesday
evening when I heard someone shout out "RAS... GOOD AFTERNOON RAS". I was the only
person on that street at that particular time so I was sure that he was referring to me and yet I
refused to turn around. I could hear the rumble of the car engine as the man slowed his vehicle
to a stop allowing it to idle in the street as he awaited my response. I kept on walking without the
slightest hint of acknowledgement. He called out to me again with the same "AFTERNOON
RAS!" I Kept my head straight and kept on walking. 'That isn't my name' I mumbled softly to
myself. He kept on calling and I kept on walking. Finally in a fit of rage I heard him utter an
expletive, "F***ING RASTA" before zooming off wildly in his vehicle.
This was totally unbelievable to me. If I had not experienced it I would not have believed that someone would go through such lengths to get attention. I don't say these things to put our countrymen in a bad light but rather to bring awareness for their benefit. Women of TnT, is it just me or is this also your experience as a woman living in Trinidad and Tobago? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
